Excerpt from the Book

Diary Intro... Volume II - Bitter; Sweet Heart String Symphony

“On my mind day and night; consuming all of me notwithstanding my sight; I do not wish my story on anybody; not even the slightest thief. Bitter without the sweet; just this heat from passion’s fire; vibrating next to me; my ears hearing the angelic choir; as our body language creates a wind that is making the flames dance higher, but your guest appearance never lasted too long. You liar! A coward trying to be in a matrimony union, but all you create is perverse harmonies in motion. No sweet to balance out this bitter; that is making my face frown; it is the bitter that broke me down year by year, tear by tear; the moisture from my eyes corroding my soul like wrought iron left out in the rain-to erode away, but it’s my pain not a fictional fairy tale; you would be happy if I fell into your bitterness. O’ this bitter it changes the very matter it touches. I’ll never be the same after your LOVE lashes and your unmerciful tongue slashes. No dashes of honey in my lemon tea only sourness to intake. Has sweetness forsaken me? Has sweetness forsaken me?”

“Sweet indeed, but cast your net unto the sea, and be a fisher of real LOVE; for there is plenty of LOVE to conceive in the sea; believe in real LOVE; for real LOVE is the key to this foreseen journey. Every living thing has a soul mate, but I am suspended in a forceful current in my own sea, while my pain and heartache are still yearning for your sweet. Is it too late for me? What is wrong with me? I know this is not real LOVE; this is not freedom; this is not even me. Sweet, indeed, but I must cast my net unto the sea, and be a fisher of real LOVE for there is plenty of fish in the sea that will not perish my soul and will reciprocate real LOVE to me-I must be a fisher of real LOVE”

“Strumming my Heart String with your rejection; forming a guitar sound that bellows echoes of sadness from the hollow places in my heart; acoustically, birthing out sultry blues. Strum my Heart String and hear my pain ringing in your open snare ear drum. This duet metamorphosing into a trio, then a quartette precisely underneath my nose before the first verse of our LOVE song was ever finished; your modern Avant-grade music pierced my heart; playing me like a baby grand piano with no sympathy; strumming me with your bow on my soul’s violin strings with no empathy during your rejection and jazz fusion Symphony; my LOVE’S chorus is singing the blues exactly beneath this LOVE’S curse in repeat, not even knowing that I’m destined for another course. Strumming my Heart String with your rejection; forming a guitar sound that bellows echoes of sadness from the hollow places in my heart; acoustically, birthing out sultry blues. Strum my Heart String and hear my pain ringing in your open snare ear drum. Hear my song so you don’t prolong your true real LOVE song; hear my song so you don’t prolong your true real LOVE song”

“Your LOVE rendition ensemble is an elaborate musical composition on my heart’s crest from your on again and then off again heartless performance; forming a Symphony with a beating pain percussion and a soul crying reverberating Orchestra. Secretly, I’m trying to get off your center stage; climb out of your Orchestra pit; close the red heavy curtains on this mesmerizing harmonic and screeching jazz symphony; end the last song in a vertigo formation with the final piece of music, play the rearmost note on the woodwinds, percussion, strings and brass instruments. Your LOVE rendition ensemble is an elaborate musical composition on my heart’s crest from your on again and then off again heartless performance; forming a Symphony with a beating pain percussion and a soul crying reverberating Orchestra. The sounds of instrument case’s closing, music sheets falling to the floor and pianos closing consume this arena without walls. This pseudo LOVE performance with bright lights finally ended-granting me with created space for a real LOVE Symphony Ensemble”